Phred
2007-09-01 11:15:57 UTC
In case you missed it in rec.humour.funny ...
Cheers, Phred.
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Expiration dates explained
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:30:01 PDT
1. USE BEFORE <date>
(A) Some time after <date>, this product becomes dangerous to your
health. Either the chemicals change into something horrible, or
microbes will have had time to produce a significant amount of toxins.
In either case, try not to think about it when you use the product
before <date>.
(B) Sometimes, especially with OTC drugs, it means BEST BEFORE, which see.
2. PURCHASE BY <date>
Same as above, but the manufacturer or government thinks it knows just
how long you will keep it on your shelf before you use it up. If you
still have left-over cereal from 1997, you might want to consider this
the same as a USE BEFORE date.
3. BEST BEFORE <date>
(A) It's not dangerous after <date>, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.
(B) It's not dangerous after <date>, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.
(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.
(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.
(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.
4. <date>
A date without any indication of what the date means, allows the
company to change its story with every phone call or law suit. It can
claim it's: any of the above, manufacture date, packaging date, or the
date of the next company picnic.
[ Web Ref: <http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/07/Aug/dates.html> ]Subject: Expiration dates explained
Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:30:01 PDT
1. USE BEFORE <date>
(A) Some time after <date>, this product becomes dangerous to your
health. Either the chemicals change into something horrible, or
microbes will have had time to produce a significant amount of toxins.
In either case, try not to think about it when you use the product
before <date>.
(B) Sometimes, especially with OTC drugs, it means BEST BEFORE, which see.
2. PURCHASE BY <date>
Same as above, but the manufacturer or government thinks it knows just
how long you will keep it on your shelf before you use it up. If you
still have left-over cereal from 1997, you might want to consider this
the same as a USE BEFORE date.
3. BEST BEFORE <date>
(A) It's not dangerous after <date>, but it changes taste, color, or
consistency and may be a whole lot less appetizing. College students
on budgets regularly ignore this kind of expiration date.
(B) It's not dangerous after <date>, but it might not have the
nutritional or medical value it should. If you're not eating it for
its nutritional value, this may not be important to you.
(C) This product has the same shelf-life as its cardboard box, but an
expiration date means you'll be scared to use it, throw it out, and
buy more.
(D) This product has the same shelf-life as a pick-axe, but our
competitors are using expiration dates, and we don't want to be left
out.
(E) This product has a shelf-life measured in geologic ages, but the
government requires that we make up a date and put it on this kind of
product.
4. <date>
A date without any indication of what the date means, allows the
company to change its story with every phone call or law suit. It can
claim it's: any of the above, manufacture date, packaging date, or the
date of the next company picnic.
Cheers, Phred.
--
***@THISyahoo.com.INVALID
***@THISyahoo.com.INVALID